Turn the light on inside of me...

I tossed and turned last night, my sheets trying to strangle me. But I didn't wake up gasping with an arched back, or wide-eyed and sweat soaked.
No, I woke this morning to an overwhelming sense of control. My will gets stronger and is evolving.

Soon I'll be standing on cold gray sands, surrounded by crackling cold and cascading waves. I'll scream at the ocean with my breath fogging like crystals and she'll scream back at me, because we understand each other. All of those foaming breakers wear down my pain, they suck the seething salt from my belly and the low heaviness of my womb away. I'll lie in the cold damp grit, and all of the darkness will ebb out of me, pulsing with the tide.

I roll my hips when I walk again, and smile at dessicated leaves as I stomp my way through the concrete paths of this city. My face automatically curves towards the sun, exposing the line of my throat. My breast rises towards the beams of light like it would to stroking fingers.
I had forgotten this aspect of femininity. I can be soft and yielding, and the surrender in it makes me feel weightless.