Why?

I need to stop constantly overthinking every single thing. My thoughts spin off in countless patterns and calculations, and I grow paranoid.

Did You Kiss the Envelope?

My beautiful secret almost lover. How you've surprised me. Handwritten letters mailed to my door, songs written and sent over these electronic conductors, causing endless whorls of thought.

We want nothing from each other, but I am so soothed and this is burning so hot and so fast I know we'll burn out.

I am struck with discomposure, but I like being off balance. Swaying with the clandestine crescendo, I know it will never be consummated.

Which, to my dismay makes this even more tender than I could have ever conjured.

Strings and Wires and Cables..

I heard your voice through the wires, all tangled and tired. I heard my voice repeat back to you, gravelly and worn out. Mutual melancholy.

But it's the words that catch me, the words that shake me. I fall into them, spiraling and bound. When I hear your mouth forming sounds, I shiver with the color of the timbre. It cannot be replicated, duplicated. It is a color like an oil slick, my heart pumps that color wildly in my chest. It shakes me, shakes me so violently I feel as though my ribs will crack and I shall lie upon the floor splayed like a broken dolly.

And all I can feel is shame. Because I don't love you. And I will never again. What you seek from me you sought too late, my precious friend.