A Tightening In My Chest.

I am going to explode out of my body. I keep pacing, my nerves pinging and snapping. I need to let this go. I have to stop lying to myself.

Everything doesn't work out in the end. No storybook ending, no tidily wrapped destinies exist here. I can only see blankness in my mind's eye when I think of my future. I don't know how to make this feeling stop. This horrible storm in my stomach, so tight it feels like I swallowed a squall.

One week. Breathe. Stop looking at the calender every half an hour. Stop checking the time obsessively, frantically texting friends but not knowing what to ask for.

What do I need? I feel like there is one piece missing, that one insanely shaped puzzle piece that is always clicked into place at the end with understanding and triumph.

But I don't know what that puzzle piece is. Do I really have to wait until the end?